Love Chronicles Volume One: Walk Next to Me
by bellaxswanxcullen
Summary: A KimxJared story. Kim is scared of being hurt again. Jared is afraid of hurting Kim, but he can't live without her. It seems no matter what he does a hidden memory of a night not so long ago keeps coming to her mind, making her block Jared more and more.
1. Welcome One and All

Love Chronicles Volume One: Walk Next to Me

Summary:

Sometimes we're out luck is out and our number is up. Then again sometimes we just think it is. Kim Rowley was average freshman on the coast of Georgia; that is until freshman year forces her to move across the country due to some problems. Kim thinks her life can't get worse, school is boring with getting over her crush on the school's infamous player Jared Kail and her best friends are all the way across the country. But when her luck suddenly turns can it last? (This will have two spin-offs, possibly one shots and might even get a little more attention if you're especially nice.)

Chapter One: Welcome One and All, Welcome to the One Thing You Don't Want to Do

_To live is like to love_

_Every reason against it_

_And all healthy instinct for it_

_-Samuel Butler_

Hello, my name is Kim Christine Rowley. No, not Kimberly as the school system seems to want to believe. I was named Kim, on my Birth Certificate it says Kim and on my Death Certificate it will say Kim. That is if I get out of the time loop school seems to create every Monday threw Friday from 6 A.M. till 2:30 PM. I rest my head on my balled up fist waiting for class to get over. I'm practically half asleep; Science is my least favorite subject. History, English and Math have all tied for first.

The bell rings shrilly waking me from stupor. I trudge to my locker, pulling out my textbook and notebook for History. Even my favorite subjects seem boring and inconsequential in La Push. I guess when you're a junior learning things you learned as a freshman then what your learning should seem unimportant. My father has taught me things past college material.

I plopped down in my adjoined desk, next to yet again an empty seat. Jared Kail has been absent for around two weeks. I'm not counting but in a school with less than 300 people it's hard not to know their full name and who's dating whom. Yet, so many people don't know me. They've been thrust together since they were children with school, tribal meetings and such what is an outsider to friends in the womb? I'll be the first to admit no one knows me here. I think that's the way I want it.

No, I just don't want Cody around anyone else would be fine. Well _anyone_ is a loose term. Jared's best friend, Paul, falls in to that exact category and he's not exactly my definition of "fine".

I open my notebook and smile as I see "Jared Caleb Kail" framed in a heart. Yes, I used to like Jared. I used to think he wasn't actually a "player" just a guy looking for the right girl. Of course, I also used to think that girl was me. When you love someone you find excuses for them, and if you can't find them you make them up. I still do that. I wish I would stop but no such luck.

Jared waves goodbye to Paul. I'm no better than my classmates to stare with my mouth agar and shock evident in every part of my features. I thought he had dropped out, transferred, moved … anything but sick! What did he have? I've never heard of a disease that makes you grow a foot or two and gain muscles. Jared took his proper seat next to me looking frigid. I stole sideways glances at him all through class but he never looked at me or anyone. He wasn't paying attention to the Scopes Trial taught by Mrs. Burkes.

"Who thinks John Scopes was right?" Mrs. Burkes asks.

When crickets responded instead of children Mrs. Burkes looked around, "Mr. Kail, how nice of you to join us. Do you have an opinion?"

Jared seems hesitant, "What was the question?"

"Ms. Rowley, what to you think?"

Jared looks toward me. His image mirrors the students when he walked in the room. Except his eyes hold three emotions, emotions that consume my life first, love then lust and lastly shock, emotions that can kill your soul and emotions everyone adores to feel, that is most everyone.

I ignore his intense gaze and answer the question, "While I don't disagree with the fine of 100 dollars, I disagree the law was ever put into practice. We have a government and country founded on and because of religious freedom. Darwin's Theory of Evolution has just as much right to be taught as the theory in Genesis of God creating the world and the Big Bang Theory. Furthermore, it is impossible to teach biology without the theory of evolution and Scopes was a substitute teacher. He taught the lesson planned."

"Well put together and thought out argument, Kim." Mrs. Burkes comments.

Jared smiled at me. I gave a shy smile back, not feeling the need to show him any emotion besides friendliness because that would be all he got, if that. Jared continued staring at me all throughout the class.

As the bell rang, signaling lunch I breather a sigh of relief to be free of Jared's passionate gaze and Mrs. Burkes' random questions.

"For the end of the year assignment you will work with your partner, each of you pick up a paper." Mrs. Burkes announced at the end of class.

I'm working with Jared for my final grade! Why not a research paper on the Holocaust or a play written in the form of early 1900's or, or… Well something besides working with slacker Jared, player Jared, extreme-gaze Jared, girl-crazy Jared…

Anything, almost anything…

"Well, I guess we're partners." Jared spoke up, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said blankly.

"I'll go get us both papers." He said before quickly walking towards the teacher, every student jumping out of his path.

I began gathering my things. Jared nicely handed me the guidelines sheet. This would involve working with him heavily.

'_**Guidelines for Your End of the Year Project**_

_You each will be working with your partner. I want you to pick anything you have learned from this class. It can be the ancient peoples to the Berlin Wall. You must write a creative story telling about this time period and set in this time period. No talking animals or animals as the main character. It must be written using correct grammar, spelling, plot and chapters. It must be 300 pages in length. I want sources. Make sure it's well researched. The best one will be published.'_

I had always wanted to be published, with or without a co-author. This might prove to be a better assignment then I thought. Jared got an A, without work, and I got my first introduction to the world of literature. What aspiring young writer doesn't dream of that? A story idea was already forming in my mind, during the Holocaust, in Germany one of my favorite times in history. Well, favorite isn't the best word to describe it. After all it was a period of prejudice and oppression all over the world, mainly focused in Germany and America with internment camps, work camps and worst of all… death camps.

"Umm, Kim, do… you… I could like… umm… follow you home today and we could like work on it. If you want. Or you could come to my house. We could have dinner after words, at like the port. (Port Angelus)" Jared rambled.

"I'll follow you home. Sounds nice," I told him. Wait, dinner at the port alone with Jared that sounded terrible. I had already agreed though. I could make up a lie.

"But it's family dinner night tonight, I can't miss it." I told him.

"Okay then, your house it is." Is he this pushy with all girls he tries to lay?

Wait, my parents weren't coming home. My mother was busy trying to save the world. Dad was lying in bed with his secretary. He thought mom and I were clueless. If he ever came home at a decent hour then he would hear mom crying herself to sleep, like I did. I could weasel my way out of that, they forgot. But that left me alone with Jared. That would be worse then being in Port Angelus with him because in the port there were police and people. At home no one would hear me.

Or they might not care.

"Sounds great," I said less than enthusiastically.

I stood up walking to the cafeteria. The lunches could pass for satisfactory, but who cared? I guess in school you could deem me catatonic. I think I like it that way. No ties, no one to hurt you and no Cody. I got chicken tenders and fries. I sprayed it with ketchup trying to drown out the disgusting flavor. I ate my food in the back of my red mini-van. I started on my homework sipping my coke. This was free period, after all. I could be anywhere and do whatever I wanted.

That's when I saw five people I really didn't want to see. First, Paul a complete asshole equipped with all asshole necessities. Jared was beside Paul. Behind these two mountains were the three people I wished never to face. From left to right there was Cody, David and Trevor. I jumped out from my perch, shut the trunk and ran inside; all the while hoping no one noticed me.

No such luck existed for me.

"Kim," I heard a deep male voice call, the least of the five evils at least.

I turned around. "Hi, Jared," I sighed.

I might as well be around him rather than Cody. Jared smiled as I said his name. I looked behind Jared seeing the threesome headed towards me.

"Uh, what class do you have next?"

"Drama, but I need to get my books."

"You need books for drama?"

"Yeah, you know stage directions, placement of things so the whole audience can see and scripts."

"Oh, well can I walk you to your locker?"

Cody was closing in on me, whether he realized it or not. He made me feel like a freshman pressed in between him and the wall.

_His hot breaths covering my face making me break into a sweat. When I looked down I saw a bulge. _

_"Come on baby," He urged, "Help me out, sweetie." _

I gasped; I had just gotten an unwanted flash back.

"Kim, Kim," I felt scorching hot hands on me, causing me to flinch back, "Kim, are you okay?"

"I- I have to go," I stuttered breaking free from Jared warm grasp. I went into the bathroom to look at my sunken face.

I hadn't gotten a flashback in a year. I had never wanted to relive those fears. I panted, close to breaking down into tears. No, I'm better than that. He doesn't deserve to make me feel this way; never again will I feel like that. Unclothed, parched and scared beyond all reasonable belief. Nothing transpired.

_He slowly unbuttoned his shirt. His body trapped me in the corner. His skin stretched tight along his abs. Once his shirt was on the floor he kicked off his shoes. His hands played with the bottom of my purple dress. I tried to scream but a rag was in my mouth._

"Get over it," I whispered under my breath. The bell rang and I rushed to drama.

Jared was waiting for me outside after drama. I had completely forgotten about him, and the incident. Drama often did that to me. I loved to immerse myself in the words of every playwright. I loved it even when I was young. I don't remember Cinderella, but Romeo was my first crush. I guess it's no surprise I'm a writer. Do I like to read plays because I like to write or do I like to write because I like to read plays?  
"Hey, you okay?" Jared asked, putting his arm behind his head. He seemed worried.

"Me, oh I'm fine. Sorry about earlier. My parents called me and told me they couldn't make it to dinner. So it's just us tonight. I'm sorry about that as well."

"Why should you be sorry? You didn't do anything. So I'll follow you home?" Jared told me, casually slinging his arms around my shoulders.

This feels so right, but so wrong too. I shouldn't be doing this. This is an unnecessary risk; I'm putting myself in harm's way. My luck has already run out. I can't handle much more.

But the heat radiating off his body is so warm and welcoming when we step into the cold frigid air outside school. In Georgia I never felt like this. I urged my body closer to Jared and leaned my head in a little. He responded by holding me tighter. Nothing could have ever been so right and perfect then our bodies together.

When we reached my car I was sad he had to let go. But then I remembered how Cody and I had felt so right too, and what became of that.


	2. Stop, Mind, Now

Love Chronicles Volume One: Walk Next to Me

Summary:

Sometimes we're out luck is out and our number is up. Then again sometimes we just think it is. Kim Rowley was average freshman on the coast of Georgia; that is until freshman year forces her to move across the country due to some problems. Kim thinks her life can't get worse, school is boring with getting over her crush on the school's infamous player Jared Kail and her best friends are all the way across the country. But when her luck suddenly turns can it last? (This will have two spin-offs, possibly one shots and might even get a little more attention if you're especially nice.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Nazi Germany, Twilight or Behind the Bedroom Wall

Chapter Two: Stop, Mind, Now

_Love is a splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!_

_-Moulin Rouge_

My mind race with thoughts as we drove to my house. More than once I tried to loose him but he was persistant. Did he really like me that much? No, of course he didn't. What am I thinking? No guy likes you that much. It's a general rule accepted by every teenage girl in the United States, even if they don't realize they accept it. My dilema was: his eyes, his muscles, his taught skin, the darkness of it, his height, well... about everything. But that was easily overcome! I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I needed to come up with escape routes within 30 seconds. I could run out the front or back door. Those were obvious though. I'm sure he could walk faster than I could run with his long legs. I could dart to the bathroom and lock the door. Sneaking out the window would be an easy task. That wouldn't be laborious for a dancer, such as I was. Neither would kicking him in the nuts, thanks to Callie. I could call them!

They may not be able to do much, but they could provide moral support. Why didn't that cross my mind earlier?

I pressed speed dial on my cell phone. Zoey answered on the first call.

"Hey, Kimmy. Wazzup?" She asked.

"Hi, Zoe. I need your moral support. There's a big guy in my class named Jared. When I say big I mean walking mountain with muscles. We got paired for a project. He wanted me to come out to eat with him or go to his house but I said it was family night."

"But you don't have family night, do you?" I was interupted.

"No, we can't all be saints like you Zoe. Then he said he would come over to my house. There is no one home, and no one around."

"So tell him your parents have something to do."

"I did, it's not that."

"Oh," Zoey said in realization. "I'll three-way Cal."

"Thanks," I said, close to tears. "He can't know your here."

"I know, and I'll explain it to Cal. Everything will be fine. If he does anything than kiss his ass."

"Thanks. I have to pretend to go. Bye, LYLAS."

"Kay, LYLAS."

I put my phone in my back pack, making sure it wasn't a pocket I would have to open to get books out of. I had pulled into my driveway and I saw Jared's car behind me.

"Here goes everything." I said taking a deep breath. I knew the girls would be able to hear.

I jumped as I heard Jared open my door. How did he get there so fast? I forced a smile to come over my face. I hoped it looked genuine. I casually got out saying "Thanks, Jare."(Yes, she did call him Jare, it's not a typo.) I wanted to make sure my friends were aware we were now treading water, in North Korea. I casually swung my bag over my shoulder, already holding my keys. I slammed my door. We walked up to the door.

I tried not to get to close, but I wanted to. I tried not to let him see the sucpision my eyes held, but I think he did. I tried not to melt when his hand brushed mine, but my crush was coming back.

No. No. No. It wouldn't come back. I couldn't come back. It wasn't allowed to. Verboden! Forbidden! NO!

Period.

Well, almost.

I went to go get the vegitable platter I had made yesterday because I was bored. I couldn't get to sleep until my mom did. After years I couldn't get to sleep with the sound of sobs. It took me around ten minutes. It wasn't hard at all. I poured two glasses of sweetened iced tea. I came out with it and Jared looked surprised.

"Where did you get the vegitable platter from?" He asked me.

"I made it." I said, a little put out. Did he think I couldn't make something like this?

"Wow." He said quietly.

Was this a complement or insult?

"Do you want to do our other homework first?" I asked.

"Sure." He said.

As we began working on our other homework I saw him stealing glances at me. I pretended not to notice. I continued with my calculous.

"Are you done?" He asked as I finished everything.

"Yeah, you?"

"Mhmm."

"So, do you have anything you want to write about for this thing?" I asked. I pretended I didn't care about being published.

"Umm... I kinda like stuff about the Holocaust and Germany during that time."

"Sounds good. So Nazi Germany."

"Yeah."

"Wait one second." I got up to get my laptop. It was metalic blue and I saw him looking at it as we waited for it to go to the internet.

_'Popular German Names in the 1930's' _I typed into google. I clicked on the first link.

"They seem to be normal names: Mary, Robert, James, Elizabeth, Nancy. At least it won't have to be some freaky name we can't pronounce. So, any ideas on the genre?"

He stared with a blank face.

"Romance, adventure, fantasy, you know that type of stuff."

"Oh, whatever. I don't think she wants it to be gory so lets not do it about the war with all these people getting killed. You know?"

"Yeah. I'd like a decent grade."

"I know what you mean. So, do you have any ideas?"

"Well, I read this one book on how the Germans who supported Jews hid them. It was called Behing the Bedroom Wall. And it was pretty good. We could write about someone who has a Jewish friend she's in love with and she hides him... but to give it a twist her father and mother want her to marry some Nazi dude."I said.

"That's really good," Jared told me.

"Thanks, but the names would be from the 1920's not 30's. They look pretty much the same. You know Alice and Edward."

As I said those names Jared tensed. That was wierd... Does he know someone with those names?

"I've always liked the name Alice. It's pretty."

"Sounds great. I have to go." Jared stood up uruptly and left.

"Bye." I said meekly. DId our generation have common curtousy?

I sighed in relief and searched my phone out of my backpack.

"Thank God." Callie said.

"I know." I replied.

"Don't scare us like that!" Zoey snipped and I smirked.

"I'll try, Mom."

"You better."

**A/N:** I am tragically sorry! I've taken forever to update but I never forgot about it. You guys are the best!!! A lot contributed to me not being able to write. End of the school, writer's block and my computer hates me are just a few. Who like the vampire referance? Those names are actually true! LOL! Oh and LYLAS means love you like a sister for those of you who don't know.


	3. Save Me

Love Chronicles Volume One: Walk Next to Me

Summary:

Sometimes we're out luck is out and our number is up. Then again sometimes we just think it is. Kim Rowley was average freshman on the coast of Georgia; that is until freshman year forces her to move across the country due to some problems. Kim thinks her life can't get worse, school is boring with getting over her crush on the school's infamous player Jared Kail and her best friends are all the way across the country. But when her luck suddenly turns can it last? (This will have two spin-offs, possibly one shots and might even get a little more attention if you're especially nice.)

**A/N: I'm terribly sorry this chapter was written a week ago, but it was so short! The beginning stuff is really just... well filling. I had major writer's block. Oh, and I'm not sure if I mentioned it before- but I know Kim isn't what she's supposedly looks like it's called Fan FICTION! Yeah, I didn't want to get any nasty reviews about that. Kim is suppose to be based sort of of of me. Zoey is u_should_know and Callie is another friend of ours. If this chapter seems kind of forced or nothing until the end it is. Really this is so you can relate more to Kim and her friends. Oh and the thing that will make the end make sense- I think is if you understand that Kim actually built up a wall, yes she's afraid of men but deep down she knows she can't put off men forever and thinks Jared might be a good start. She really wants the love he is offering her.**

**Disclaimer: You know Stephenie Meyer gave me the copyright to the whole Twilight Saga?: Yeah that was right after the Easter Bunny came into my room and started break dancing and right before the men with big needles put me in a pretty white jacket and put me in a padded room! (Totally true story)**

**I wish, except for the men part... I'd much rather Taylor Lautner. **

Chapter Three: Save Me

_"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."_

I laid in bed, I had gotten off the phone as fast as I could. I needed time to think. Or, not think so much as to let my mind wander to anything. I looked down at my ring finger on my right hand. Could I imagine a ring there?

Okay, I'm not saying that Jared and I would get married or even date... but would any man have a ring there.

Truthfully, I couldn't imagine a man wanting to.

I rolled over to look at the picture on my night stand. It was a black frame, small wire and beads ran along it. It held a picture of Callie, Zoey and I the day of freshman orientation. Zoey had jumped on my back so she was on me in our signature piggy back style. We had thrown our backpacks on Callie so she was pushing us as the picture was taken. She needed anger management classes, she still does.

Callie had clear skin. She had straight black hair. She was beautiful and well... I have to admit I didn't know how she felt about herself. So, she probably was a bit insecure like every teenager but she never showed it. When she did it was in a joking manner. She was the youngest of the group (by two friggin' months as she liked to put it). Compared in height she was the middle (by a millimeter... maybe! the shortest of the group, Zoey would say). Callie was a bit protective of us. She also was homophobic, no matter how much she insisted she wasn't. She made jokes all the time, but deep, deep down she had her buried love that came out sometimes. Zoey and I had dug our way down there somehow and hadn't managed to piss her off... _that_ bad.

The prettiest of our group was hands down Zoey. Although she insisted I was. Zoey was pale. She was short. She had a mix of red and brown hair, but when she was in the right lighting you could see her natural gold highlights in her hair. Her hair had seen redder days and was slowly fading become more brunette. She had a mixture of hazel and brown eyes. She thought she was boring. She once referred to me as "the Blonde Beauty" and herself as "the Boring Brunette". I laughed and said she was anything but boring. She might have been a quiet, shy girl if you didn't know her but when you got close to her she was hyper, hilarious and FUN! We had an interesting group but somehow we managed to fit together perfectly.

My phone rang and I saw Zoey was three-waying me. I picked up the phone.

"Hey." I answered.

"Hi!" Zoey replied.

"Hey, freak!" Callie said. After a little friendly conversation we began taking about thee project again.

"Why do you have to work with him?" Zoey asked as I made myself dinner.

"Because my teacher fucking hates me." I told her. I knew she didn't like it when I cussed but how else was I suppose to explain my feelings?

"You really need to get control of your tongue Missy." Zoey exclaimed.

"I agree. What type of evil teacher makes you work with a hot guy. You poor thing!" Callie said. She hadn't exactly been effected the way Zoe and I had.

Callie had taken karate. She had more self-confidence then we did when it came to fighting. I didn't blame her it was just… annoying when she didn't understand my fear. I mean Jared could beat me up if he choose to. Of course Callie could to, but I hit harder because of my repressed anger. Exactly like Zoey. Callie however let it all out.

"Cal," I said close to tears, "You know I don't like being around guys."

Callie sighed. I could hear her trying to stop the tears. I guess Callie had been effected. It just wasn't the obvious type. She was more effected by what Zoey and I had gone through. Really she was the only allowed to abuse us. It seemed weird but that's how it went with our group. We could hit and bite each other all we wanted but when someone else did it… it wasn't acceptable. I know it's crazy but it's us.

Callie was the tough one. The one that I had hardly ever seen cry, but Zoey insisted I was tougher. I never cried. I broke my ankle and walked around on it for a week. Callie was happy and liked to shop. That's how you could cheer her up. That and looking at cute guys. I wasn't like that though. I'm not sure how you could cheer me up, because usually I didn't cheer up.

"You might be published." Zoey said. She knew it was one of my dreams.

"Yeah. That'd be cool." I said. I always wanted to be a famous author.

"Oh! And we sent you birthday present!" Callie said.

My birthday was a few weeks away. It had successfully escaped my mind until now. I didn't care for my birthday much. Mainly because I never celebrated it. I usually took myself out to dinner and book shopping in Seattle. Doesn't that sound like an super fun birthday? I know I just love it! Sometimes I'll treat myself and look at CD's and movies too!

Yeah, that's how unpopular I am. I don't have a friend that isn't thousands of miles away. I think that one night changed a lot.

"I have homework." Callie said. She was always the one that didn't do her homework when she got home. Zoey and I always did ours.

"I have chores." Zoey said.

"Bye." We all said and hung up.

I started thinking of my life up until the fateful night. I was fun and outgoing. I knew rape was a possibility, but I never thought it would happen to me. And it didn't…

Then why did it effect me so much?

I let my damn break and my emotions come crashing down on me. Why me? Why did I get tossed these cards. Two people were there for me and they live miles away. My mother was wrapped up with herself. My father wrapped in his secretary and any other woman, aside from his family. I allowed tears to come crashing down. I couldn't stand it. I needed to get out of the house.

I rushed out of the house with my messenger bag. I ran to the beach. I sat on a little dip in the rocks, my special spot. I just started crying.

Anger, sadness, frustration, loss, fury and every other emotion, even happiness. I remembered a happy time, I remembered dancing and joking around and I remember when rape was something in books.

"Do you always come here?" Jared asked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"This is my beach. And I asked you first!" He said.

"Too bad. Yeah, I come here a lot." I admitted.

"I do too."

"Why?"

"It's easier than being near people."

"Oh, I'll leave then." I told him.

"No, I like being near you."

I could feel blood rush to my face. "So, stalkers get annoying after a while?"

"Yeah, can you imagine? Why do you come here?"

"I don't have anybody around that expects something of me."

"I don't expect anything of you."

I didn't know how to reply to that. I just scooted closer to him. I obviously was being pre-dance Kim.

"So what sent you off out here?" I asked.

"Paul was getting on my nerves. You?"

"Um… Long story…"

"We have all the time in the world."

"Do you know that 'long story' is universally accepted as 'I don't want to tell you'?" I asked him.

"I'm not so sure about the universally part."

"You don't want to hear it."

"Sure I do."

"I don't want to tell you."

"You will in time. I get to spend a lot of time with you if you want a good grade on the History project."

"So about that what bothered you about those names?"

"Um… I know some… people I don't like." "Oh, I completely understand."

For the rest of the night I felt perfectly comfortable discussing almost everything with him. It was odd, yet somehow completely natural. It was like magic. For once all I wanted was for time to freeze. To appreciate all of it. He was like Zoey and Callie in a male form. We went from serious conversation to light-hearted joking to comfortable silence.

At some point in the night he had slipped an arm around my shoulders. I was subconsciously leaning closer into him. I took a deep breath and breathed in his woodsy scent. He smiled and held me there, he wouldn't let go. Truthfully I didn't want him to.


	4. Help Me, Please

**Chapter Four: Help Me, Please**

"_I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."_

_-Dave Matthews Band_

I couldn't get to sleep. I didn't know why.

Well I did know why, I just didn't want to tell myself why. I had opened up with Jared. That wasn't the Kim I was. That was The Kim I wanted to be. I wanted to be fun and crazy and for once I fell short of words. I wanted to be the daring punk who would wear bright colors and mix things and wear too much eye make-up but I could pull it off. That's who Jared talked to, the one he could love. That's the Kim Jared brought out.

Both Kims were in love with him. Even the shy, scared girl was in love.

Even though Jared brought out the Kim that I wanted to be.

Who was the Kim that was thinking all of this?

Maybe it was Third Person Kim, who wasn't really Kim at all but a narrator of the Kims lives. Wow, my life would be a great book. Can you imagine, the 2 and a half Kims.

I'd say sides of Kim, but that didn't fit because they were two different people entirely.

Character Analysis Time!

I grabbed a piece of loose leaf paper. Hopefully no one would ever find this.

A) Kim 1- The Kim that Everyone Sees: Kim 1 is shy and quiet. She could be described as anti-social (which is true) and depressed (which isn't true) (OK, partially true). She is a plain girl. Kim 1 has straight blonde hair, crystal grey eyes and lips shaped to form a pout that someone told Kim 2 turned guys on. Her family life is almost non-existent (OK, completely non-existent). While her mother isn't trying to save the world, excluding her own family of course she's crying about how her husband doesn't love her. Her father is wrapped around his secretary and any other woman who would sleep with him. Kim 1 can't help but feel guilty for this plus other things. She's heard that a move can be stressful on a family.

B) Kim 2- The Kim That Kim 1 wants to Be: Kim 2 has a hard outer exterior but under that is a soft, caring girl. She is smart, fun loving and caring. She wears too much make-up and mixes dangerous styles yet she can always pull it off while still looking good. She is somewhat insecure in her looks but not enough to stop her from being who she wants and doing what she wants to do. She dances everyday of the week. When she's not dancing she's either writing, hanging out with her friends, online or drinking double lattes. Every Friday her family has "Family Night." Her father never gets home after seven o'clock.

A warm tear trickled down my cheek and fell on my paper.

The similarity between these two girls- they both are falling hard and fast for Jared.

I'd never get to sleep, so I decided to do what I do best. Become someone else and write. I let the words take me away as I typed out my soul on to the page. It was a relief as I didn't think. I lost myself in the words. I looked at the clock. Three AM, I had to get up in three hours! What, where did the time go? I looked at the typed pages in front of me, realizing I had finished another novel. I emailed it to Zoey and Callie.

I hopped into bed. Then I thought about it. One guy shouldn't change the way I see myself or how the world sees me? I should follow my own heart. That's when I decided I would be the Kim I wanted to be tomorrow.

I got up feeling strangely not tired. Well, I wasn't awake but I wasn't falling asleep. I even woke up before my alarm! I'm kind of a morning person.

I hopped in a hot shower letting the pounding water relax my muscles. I washed my hair with my vanilla shampoo and was finished in ten minutes. I choose to let my hair air dry. I brushed my teeth and washed my face with my apricot wash. I had fairly clear skin so I only had to use a cleanser. I used a mask once a week. I put my midnight blue silk robe on with my fuzzy slippers, I knew my parents weren't home. I put on the coffee. I decided to go all out today.

I put on a plaid skirt with black fringe at the bottom, making it puff out. It was a mini skirt so I pulled on black leggings under it. I put on black knee-high boots with just a little heal and a decorative buckle. I pull on a black fitted tank top and a heavy jacket, that doesn't look heavy. I put on a bunch of black eyeliner on my eyes. To top it off a dark red lipstick. I look pretty hot. I smile in the mirror. I grad some fruit and coffee. I take time to relax and read my current novel 1984, it's one of my favorite books. I then got in my car putting my Linkin Park CD in.

I spotted Jared with Paul right away but with their height who couldn't? Jared said a few words to Paul before leaving him to come over to me.

"Hey, Kim." Jared called.

I saw blond hair flip towards me. I hid behind my long blonde hair. "Hey, Jared." I smile.

"So, do you think we could try yesterday again tonight?"

"Sounds good. We could go to the beach afterwards and have a picnic." I suggested.

He beamed at me. "We should get to class." I said.

His smile dropped a little but we walked in together with his hand around my shoulders. Was he always so warm? I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

During History we had time to work on our projects. We picked out names, made character sketches and mapped out the plot.

"We're ready to start writing!" I said.

"Oh, can you write?" Jared asked.

"Yeah," I told him.

"I can't, I can draw though."

"Well then, you could do the cover and at the end of each chapter we can have pictures."

"That sounds great, but you'd be doing almost all the work."

"But I love writing it'll be done in a few days."

"Okay, if your sure…"

"Positive."

Once the bell rang I headed toward the cafeteria. I was a little hungry and looking forward to a break. I got in the long line.

Someone bumped into me.

"Hey baby." A voice said that I knew all to well. Muscular tan arms wrapped around my waist.

Not here, Kim. Don't panic and don't cry. Please don't cry.

"Get. Away. From. Me." I say, pronouncing each word.

"We never finished what we started. I always finish what I start."

"I didn't start anything."

"But your all for helping people out, aren't you."

"Not you." I tried to escape from the cage his arms created around me, but that simply made him pull me closer. That allowed me to feel his erection on my back.

"She said let her go." A familiar husky voice said from behind me. Cody glanced behind himself.

He automatically let me go and ran out of the cafeteria. I turned around with tears in my eyes. I glanced around the room no one had noticed anything. It was just a normal day to them. I looked at Jared. My tears threatened to spill over.

"I have to go." I whispered.

He looked severely disappointed.

"And, Jared,"

"Yeah." He said looking back up at me.

"Thank you, very much."

"No problem." He smirked.

I smiled through the tears.

"It was for me." I said before I left.

I went to the restrooms trying to clean myself up. I dabbed a wet paper towel under my eyes while silently thanking God that all my make-up was water proof. I looked at myself, in the mirror no one would be able to guess what had happened. I went to the cafeteria, no longer hungry.

I grabbed a ginger ale. Usually I would grad a water but ginger ale is easier on your stomach. That's one thing I did need something easy on my stomach. I wasn't feeling to great right about now.

I went to my car and listened to Linkin Park until it was time for Drama. Taking my backpack I sat and listened to the words of millions of authors. Once the bell rang signaling the end of the school day I wondered if I should wait for Jared. Could he remember the way to my house? Would it be too obvious if I waited? I decided to wait.

"Kim!" Jared called.

I turned around. "I wasn't sure if you remembered how to get to my house." I said somewhat truthfully.

"Yeah, well let's go."

"Okay." I said.

Wasn't he wearing cut off shorts and a tee shirt not sweats and a wife beater. I shook my head, was I loosing it? No, I was positive I wasn't. He was wearing different clothes. Maybe he just had to change for the a class or something. That was reasonable.

I had gotten in my car and began to drive. I didn't bother calling my friends. He wouldn't hurt me. I had a strange trust in him. He didn't even give out the "vibe" that he was trustworthy, I just knew he was.

We got to my house. I got some cookies and milk out for a snack. We began doing homework.

"Umm... do you understand this?" Jared asked pointing to his Math homework.

I smiled at him, "Yeah." I said as I began to explain to explain it to him.

Once we finished our homework I began typing.

"You type really fast." Jared noticed.

"Thanks, I'm kind of always typing so..." I trailed off.

"Do you have anything else?" He asked.

"I like to dance and play volleyball. You?" I asked.

"I like to play any sport and I can cook... a little."

I laughed. "My dad taught me how to cook."

"You never talk about your parents."

"In the two days we've talked."

"No, it's like you deflect it purposely."

"Nature... I guess."

"So what are they like?"

"Complicated." I wanted to talk about it, I didn't want to keep it in.

Even though the rational part of me wanted to get away from this subject.

"Complicated?" He questioned.

"My whole life is complicated. You don't want to hear about it."

"Yes, I really do."

"Let's get back to work." I said quickly.

**A/N: Sorry it's short and it took so long to get up. First my hardware got amnesia and I had to retype it (I had finished it). I finally re-typed it from scratch and I forgot to save it. This is the third try so if it sounds boring and forced I'm sorry, the second try was probaly the best.**


	5. I Don't Know Where I'd Be Without You

**Chapter Five: I Don't Know Where I'd Be Without You**

_"Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends."_

_-Cindy Lew_

After that things went normally. Jared continued to pursue a friendship relationship with me. We began going out often. He really was a great guy. A guy that I sat with at lunch, and a guy my parents didn't even know the name of. He began getting close to me. He hadn't discovered any of my deep dark secrets yet. I feared he might.

Then again, part of me wanted him to. I wanted him to be someone I could lean on near me.

I continued to dress in my new- well, old- fashion. It felt comfortable, more like me. I had only a few more chapters in the book, until it was officially finished. I had researched every aspect very carefully making sure to write down all of my sources. It was a week away from the end of school and I was a week away from becoming a senior. It was the last Saturday in May. Something felt important today, something I should remember. Jared was working. It wasn't him. Definitely not my parents. Nothing else came to mind.

Oh well.

I began typing rapidly trying to finish the chapters of the book. Then I began thinking, about Jared and his "work". He worked for Sam Uley. I doubted drug use of any kind. Something was going on with them though.

Just then a knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I opened the door hesitantly to see a Post Office worker. He had sandy blond hair and tan skin, his name tag said Davis. He was obviously not from Washington. He looked like a surfer. He was nervous.

"I... um need a signature." He told me offering me the clipboard.

"Oh, okay." I told him. I signed for the package. I looked at the cardboard box that looked like nothing special. Davis handed me the box.

"Thanks," I said and smiled at him.

He ran nervous hand threw his hair. I closed the door as he went away. Curiosity got the better of me, so I opened the box. On top was a letter.

_"Hey Kim,_

_Bet you forgot what today is. I'll give you a hint- the dates May 29. Do you give up? It's your birthday silly! So this is your present. But you have to follow each and every one of the instructions exactly. First- no, we'll repeat, no peeking, looking ahead in the box, none of that! You have to read this letter and do what it says, understood? Good. Do one task at a time without reading ahead. Now, go get dressed in something at least a little nice."_

That's right, it was my birthday! I went upstairs to get dressed. I put on a black dress, it would be a spaghetti strap dress which you could tell except the lace covering the bodice left a gap at the straps but covered my arms. The bottom jutted out and had a white line at the bottom. It came to my mid-thigh I put on fishnets. I put on black lace-up boots. I put n a little black eyeliner and mascara. I put parts of my hair in two pigtails. I'll admit it- the look was based off of Death Note's Misa. If I was Japanese I could play her.

I went downstairs to read the rest of the letter.

_"Now that you've done that, put on a jacket and go to our car. Part of your present is at the airport. Don't take the box with you. Stop reading until you get to the airport."_

It took around an hour to get to the airport, but I didn't have anything better to do and I like driving. I blasted Linkin Park. I arrived at the airport and read the letter again.

_"Go to the terminal and sit on a bench._

_Love, _

_Callie and Zoey!"_

It had been half an hour. I had entertained myself easily but if I had to sit here for the whole day looking like an idiot then they'd be dead.

"Looking for someone?" A familiar voice asked.

"Oh my GOD!" I squealed.

I jumped on my two best friends. They were equally as happy. We hugged each other over and over again.

"This is the best birthday present ever!" I practically yelled.

"Wait till you see the rest!" Zoey told me.

"Now, let's go back to your place." Callie said, "Oh, by the way we're staying with you till Tuesday. And we know you have school so we'll do shopping or lounge around."

"And your staying in the guest bedrooms I'm guessing, did you ask my parents?"

"Do we really need to? They love us."

They would find out my secret home life. I love them but they would be the death of me. Yet, I drove back to my house. We talked over Paramore's CD. I told them about how close Jared and I were getting. They were happy for me, of course but I could see the fear in Zoey's eyes as I spoke of him. Once we reached the house and went inside Callie went through the box that had arrived, she produced The Princess Bride. She smiled and put it in. It was one of my favorite chick flicks. That's saying a lot because I don't like chick flicks very often but this one had sword fights. Okay, and I could quote every line in it.

They sat me on the floor.

"Ugh, did you have to pick such a Gothic wardrobe today?" Callie asked.

"Whatever, we're making her a Gothic Princess then." Zoey said.

What did they have in mind?

"I'm doing her nails!" Zoey called.

"I'm doing her hair!" Callie said, "And her make-up!"

"I like my hair and make-up, it was inspired by Misa!" I argued.

"I don't care!" Callie said.

I stuck my tounge out at her. "Since it's my birthday shouldn't I be able to do whatever I want?" I asked.

"Nope, you have to do what we tell you to and be happy!" Callie informed me.

"Fun."

We were almost to the end when Callie and Zoey were done with me. That was until Zoey said, "I'm re-doing her make-up! It doesn't match her outfit."

"Fine." Callie said, I'll put the jewelry on her.

Callie began putting silver earings on, blocking Zoey's way. Then she put on a silver necklace, it looked like expensive diamonds but I was positive they were fake. Then she put a tiara on me.

That's when the door bell rang. I looked expectantly at my friends, I was not letting anyone see me like... this!

"We can't get it." Callie said pushing me toward the door.

I opened it hoping it wouldn't be anyone important. Yeah, just my luck... Jared was standing there. He looked at me and tried to contain laughter.

"Hey, Kim I just wanted to stop by to give you a birthday present while I was on break." He said.

"Thanks Jared." I said taking the package in his hand.

"Playing dress up?" He asked.

"I have no clue."

"Kim don't you even think about going away before Zoey re-does your make up because mine wasn't 'good enough'." Callie yelled.

"My friends came down, and their doing something."

"Oh!" Jared said.

"Yeah, I don't usually play dress up on my days off."

He smiled. "So are you gonna open it?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah." I said. I opened it to see a picture of Jared in a picture frame.

"Jared, it's great! Thank you so much!" I said hugging him. He hugged me back.

"I'm glad you like it." Jared said.

"I thought you said he had to work," Callie said.

"It's his break."

"Oh, well let's get you back to being beautiful." Callie said.

"Bye, Jimmy!" Callie said closing the door.

"Jared!" I yelled at her.

I opened the door again to say goodbye to Jared but he was already gone.

I took my seat as Zoey scrubbed off my makeup. Then came my real present.

As I mentioned before I send all the books I write to Callie and Zoey via email, they handed me those books back in hard back. They had gotten my books published! All of them! They... they...

I couldn't think. It brought tears to my eyes.

"You guys are so great!"

They really were. I couldn't believe them. They were just great. Period.

We hung out the rest of the day eating junk food and watching TV. I really couldn't explain how great my friends were. Coming down for my birthday, which I had forgotten about, then getting my books published. Yeah, I may not have many friends but the friends I have are amazingly great.

**A/N: I know it's really short but it was what the story told me. Plus I think the last sentence is just an ending sentence. We reached ten reviews, I was SO happy about that. Yeah I saw I got two reviews and I was happy for a few days after that about it. (I know it's sad). Also I have a poll up now about whether or not you want Jared's POV. I also have a one-shot that you should check out. Also I'm posting a play list on my profile if you have a question on how they inspired the story PM me.**


	6. Is It True Love

**Chapter Six: Is It True Love**

_"The best feelings are those that  
Have no words to describe them..."_

_-Michelle Hammersley_

I had school on Monday, which I knew Jared would be at. I needed to edit the book, so I would have something to do in English class if she gave us time to work on the project. It would look bad if I sat around talking to Jared when I was supposed to be typing. I got up to get dressed.

"Can I pleeeease give you a make-over?" Callie asked me for the millionth time, and I'm pretty sure that's not an exaggeration.

"No Cal!" I said in response.

"FINE!"

I knew she wasn't actually upset you could tell when she was mad. She was beyond words, almost as bad as me. Okay, I could rival the god of anger when you got me angry enough. It was surprisingly easy if you knew exactly how to do it.

I decided to wear dark wash skinny jeans and my Fall Out Boy band T-shirt. Sure they weren't exactly screamo but Callie would approve. I only put on some mascara. You may be wondering why I decided to be pretty light on everything. I figured why go all out when Callie would march me back up to my room and put me in a pink flower dress. This might pass.

And by pass I mean get a D, if not a D-.

"What are you wearing?" Callie shrieked at me.

"My life, my style, my rules." I informed her.

"You can't talk to Jared like that."

"I can, he's talked to me in something like this before!" I told her, avoiding the part about how they were better, and more eccentric.

"Guys, calm down." Zoey said getting in between us.

I think a good way to describe us is like sisters. We're not going in the actual order of our ages, but how we act. Kind of.

I'm the older sister. I give advice and a shoulder to cry on. I think that what I've gone through, has made me mature faster. Part of me still wants to hold onto the innocence, and I try. Sometimes I want to scream but my mature side won't allow it. I keep my feelings bottledup. The older sister fights with the younger sister, Callie and I have that relationship.

Zoey is the peace keeper, the quiet shy girl that sits in the corner and gets good grades. You may expect her to be a goodey-to-shoes. Ha! How wrong you are! If you could see inside her mind you'd be blown out of your seat. Sometimes you catch little snippetsof what she's thinking, but she's funny like that. One day she's quiet in the corner of a dance class and you talk to her a little. Then you find out you go to the same school. You talk and she sits with you at lunch. You both sneer at the mean girl- Callie who makes fun of you both. Then you find out your parents work together. Before you know it your best friends, with a promise to never be broken apart. Then one day you hear her use the word"bitch". You laugh thinking it was a one time thing. Suddenly she's not that quiet little girl anymore.

Callie, is the youngest. A bit childish at times and gets into fights easily. Yet, you somehow find it in your heart to forgive you. She's quite opinionated and speaks her mind. You always know what you get with her. She has a soft underside hardly anyone sees. She doesn't show much. She started being nice to us around 5th grade, she wiggled her way into our tight knit union in 6th grade and started taking ballet with me in 8th grade.

Understand? I know we're weird and confusing.

By this time I had grabbed my coffee and an apple and got into my car.

"Hi, Kim." Jared called.

"Hi, Jared." I replied.

"It's good to see your not in the pretty princess theme today."

"Yep, I changed my outlook on life again."

Jared smiled. He walked me to my locker, like every day. It had become uncommon to see one of us with out the other. I smiled up at him. I had always considered myself tall, but he was a giant!

"Kim, I was wondering if you would like to go to the beach with me on Friday?" He asked,nervously.

I smiled. Callie would be in Georgia, not being able to control my wardrobe decisions and what not. "I'd-" I pause for a second, trying to make it seem like I was going to reject him, "don't know," his face fell, "why I'd want to do anything else with my Friday night."

His grin spread from ear to ear. That was hardly an exaggeration, either. The scary part is my smile matched his.

"Oh, by the way I finished the novel, and edited it. I'll come back to it, later double checking everything."

"That's great, I'm almost drawn the pictures."

"Awesome." We high-fived.

We were almost done the greatest novel of all time. "So, what was your birthday like?" Jared asked me.

"Did you know birthdays were actually just for your friends to put you through torturous things and you have to pretend to enjoy it?"

"What did they get you?"

"They got all my books published, for real in bookstores and everything."

"Oh my God! You're kidding!" He looked ecstatic. Jared brought me into a tight hug and twirled me in the air.

The rest of the day ran smoothly. As did the rest of the week. Saying goodbye to my friends was sad, but I couldn't prevent it, and I would see them again. It came to Friday. I wore black tights, a black skirt, and a red off the shoulder long sleeved top, I put on black ballet flats and allowed my hair to be down. Jared picked me up and we casually talked all the way to the beach. I was nervous because I had made up my mind, tonight I would tell him everything.

"I have something to tell you." He said.

"Me too." I responded.

"I think I should go first."

"So, have you heard the legends of our tribe?" Jared asked me.

"Of course." I said.

"Well, what would you do if I told you they were true."

"I'd laugh."

"Kim, they're true, I'm a werewolf, the Cullens in Forks, you know Dr. Cullen and his family? Yeah. They're vampires."

"Jared, what do you really want to tell me?"

"Kim, I'm serious."

"Are you crazy or is this a prank?"

"Neither Kim." He began stripping in front of me.

"Jared, what the fuck are you doing?"

Suddenly Jared standing in front of me, but a werewolf. I was going to tell him all of my secrets without knowing he was an animal? I started to cry he came forward but I shook my head. "Get away from me you animal!" I screamed at him.

I ran all the way home. I stared at my phone for a while willing for someone, anyone to call. I cried silent tears but I could hear my mom wailing down the hall, not bothering to check on me.

"Yeah, mom life stinks. Get over yourself."

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up at three in the morning. I tossed and turned but I couldn't get to sleep. I decided to go downstairs. I had been sitting on the couch for a while while when the door creaked open. MY father stood in the doorway with lipstick stains everywhere, his tie loose and his hair everyplace.

"Kimmy, what are you doing up?"

I just shook my head at him with tears in my eyes before walking out the door.

**A/N: I'm sorry, it's been too long. Homework has just been scary. I have a lot of teachers who think giving you homework that takes till midnight helps you learn, or something. Yeah, this year is going to be really hard to write. I am really sorry and wish I could update more often but realistically it's notgoing to happen. Once a month will be good. I'll start cranking chapters out during the holidays, maybe. There are a lot of things that life has thrown at me this year. I might not have time during the holidays. I promise I'll never forget about this, but expect shorter chapters. I've been depressed lately and all writers know if your trying to have inspiration it's not the best when your depressed.**

**Once again I'm really sorry. Oh, and I DISCLAIM THIS STORY, ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER, NOT ME! ANYTHING ELSE BELONGS TO ME.**


	7. Drowning

Chapter Seven: Drowning

"_Sadness flies away on the wings of time."_

-Jean de La Fontaine

It was raining as I walked out of the house. How fitting, I thought. It was a perfect metaphor for my mood. Tears ran freely down my face. I was thinking of going to the cliff, but I was afraid Jared might be there. I walked around for around an hour, not passing anyone. It was four in the morning when the town slowly started coming alive. As I walked pass different houses a light flickers on.

I know I won't be alone for long so I run to some abandoned apartments that are said to be haunted. I'd never gone in there before but I was cold. I had walked out of the house in a tank top and shorts; I didn't even have shoes on. I knew I would more than likely catch a cold but I had a strong immune system, so it wouldn't be that bad. I climbed in between two pieces of wood blocking the window.

It was all overwhelming. I realized I hadn't cried in over three years. Nothing got to me. I was an idiot for letting someone in. He hurt me again.

Everyone hurts me. Everyone aside from Zoey and Callie do at least.

"You're a complete idiot, Kim. How do you continue to do this?" I asked myself crying.

I could barely breathe; my arms went around my waist. I sobbed for everything. I cried for the innocence I had lost. I cried about how my first boyfriend never really loved me. I cried about how I couldn't trust anyone. I cried about the strangled relationship between my mom and dad.

But most of all: I cried because I needed to do something.

I couldn't think of anything I could do, but I knew I needed to do something. I realized I had stopped crying. I didn't know how long I'd been here but I had a feeling it had been a while. I was cold, tired and hurt. I heard cars going by. Some going to work, some going out to breakfast, some doing things no one wanted to know about. People passed by without knowing someone was in here. The sun was shining trying to overcome the rain. I doubted it would.

I heard footsteps outside. It must be someone running. There was no way anyone would come in here.

"Kim?" I heard a rough voice cry out.

He didn't.

I saw him coming through the shadows. He sighed in relief and rushed over, his arms encircling me. I pushed him away.

"Jared, just stop," I said.

"Kim, please, what's wrong?"

"Jared go away."

"No, Kim. You're freezing, tired and hungry. Let's go back to my house." With that he puts an arm around me and we begin walking.

We walk through a muddy forest to a quaint house. It looks more like a cottage. It has a garden around it. Jared's hand was warming me up a bit but I was completely soaked. I couldn't look that good either. I probably had makeup running down my face, seeing as I had forgotten to wash it off. My eyes were probably red and my cheeks were more than likely puffy.

I brushed the back of my hand under my eyes and when I looked I saw my hand had been stained by black. My hair was soaked. The old apartment probably wasn't the best choice to keep dry. Jared led me into the house, holding me close.

"Jared, my parents will be worried." I tell him.

"I passed by your house both your parents are out." Jared said.

I know I shouldn't have cared but it hurt my parents weren't worried about their only child's safety. I don't cry though. I've cried enough. Jared looks at me. He walks away and I just stand in the doorway, uncomfortable. He comes back with a towel and a soft blanket. He offers them and I take them, gratefully. I put the towel down on the couch.

"Don't worry about that" He tells me.

I sit on the towel anyway and wrap the blanket around me. It's warm and smells like Jared. He sits down next to me and pulls me close.

"What are you so afraid of?"

"I just… I know it's dumb but… secret… and… him… and you… you…" I mumble.

"Kimmy, sweet heart calm down." He presses a finger to my lips.

"Something happened a while ago. It's complicated. I was going to tell you. When you told me you were a wolf I kept thinking what if you hadn't and how betrayed I would have been. Even though it's dumb."

"It's not dumb." Jared says, "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll make us some breakfast. Then we can talk."

I nod. He leads me into the bathroom. He runs away and comes back with some of his own clothes, a towel and a brush.

"I'd give you my mom's clothes but she's around 4' 8". I didn't think they'd exactly fit." He informs me.

My eyes bulge out and he laughs.

"I take after my dad."

I smile as he shuts the door. I turn the water on. I was looking forward to this shower. I laid out the brush on the spotless counter. It was obvious someone took great pride in their house. I smiled, remembering when my mom cleaned. I hung the towel up on a hanger. The shower had a glass sliding door on it. It was also spotless. The hot water stung at first but soon relaxed my muscles.

I smiled as I ran my hands through my hair. It felt nice to be warm again. I began thinking of Jared's warmth. I wondered if that had something to do with being a werewolf.

"Werewolf," I whispered as the word ran off my tongue.

I didn't have a problem with it. I never did. I had a problem with the fact I could have bled my heart and soul to him and I wouldn't have known about his alter identity. But I did. He trusted me enough to tell me everything.

And I would tell him as well.

I had already subconsciously decided that, didn't I? He was being sweet and nice, in a time I could use a good friend near me. My worst nightmare was alive and close by.

I could have told my friends, they would do something.

I could have told my parents, they would- probably not do anything, not even remember more than likely.

Instead I chose to tell the person I barely knew, but there was a something familiar about him. It defiantly wasn't from Cody, because if it was my instincts would be telling me to run. It wasn't from my parents, because they couldn't realize their only child was missing.

"_Miss Independent_

_Miss Self-Sufficient_

_Miss Keep your distance_

_Miss Unafraid_

_Miss Out of my way…"_

_Kelly Clarkson's voice sung out in the background. Kim was having a flashback, a good one. _

"_Take it back this instant!" A voice yelled from a few feet away. The voice was angry and malicious._

_Just then a wave crashed spraying the three girls with salty water. _

"_Ohmigawd!" The red haired girl shrieked, "That water is freezing!"  
"Puh-lease!" Kim shouted back._

_Kim ran into the water happily splashing around. _

"_If Callie would calm down, the ocean wouldn't get so mad!"_

"_The ocean is getting mad over Zoey's comment."_

"_I highly doubt that, the ocean knows the truth, the Jonas brothers are gay and having sex with each other. Sorry, your dreams of dating Joe will never become a reality."_

"_If that water wasn't freezing you'd be dead."_

_Zoey laughed, "We all know hurting Kimmy in the water is impossible, she controls the ocean or something."_

"_In tune, I'm in tune with the ocean. Difference!" _

"_Whatever, you predict everything in the ocean. You can go in it in the middle of October! You have a bond or something."_

_Kim smiled, she had always been proud of how she could predict the ocean by simply seeing it. She was humble enough to know how to respect it. The ocean was something to not fear but not trample on either. The ocean had always respected Kim. In a way she did control the ocean, but the ocean controlled her just as much. _

_It wasn't cold to Kim. She enjoyed it; she was the only person in the ocean for miles around. This was a little known beach and the fact it was October made it even more vacant. No odd sensation came over her from being alone in the ocean. Her friends were simply a few feet away. _

I came back from her flash back with a gulp of air. She closed her eyes and tried to breath. That's where the eyes came from. Jared's eyes held the same emotion Callie and Zoey's eyes did when they looked at each other or her. It was an emotion of one of the strongest bonds of love. His eyes held the sparkle of the ocean with the sun hit its waves, crashing down upon the shore.

His warm skin felt like sand in between your toes at noon on the ocean. His playful nature was like the oceans. Pushing and pulling the water and you back and forth hoping you'll play with it. I always obliged happily. Jared's soft lips were like the sun going down or rising. Pink meeting red in a dance performed daily for anyone who cared enough to buy tickets.

I stepped out of the shower wrapping the towel around me. I felt much better. I got dressed and brush my hair. I got dressed in Jared's baggy clothes. He had given me basket ball shorts and a tee shirt. I looked in to the mirror and smiled at myself. I looked kind of good in Jared's clothes. I snuggled into them, they smelled like him.

I came out to the smell of deliciousness.

"Mmm… what is that smell?" I asked coming out. Jared turned around. I smiled looking at the flour on his cheek. I wet a dish towel and wiped it off laughing.

"I can cook!"

"I can tell."

He lead me to a small table, a tray was next to the table. The tray was filled with every type of breakfast food. Jared pulled out my chair and I sat down, blushing. Once he sat down he motioned for me to help myself. I took a few pancakes, fruit and coffee. Of course he tried some of everything.

I smiled lightly.

"My father and I used to get up every Sunday to make pancakes." I whispered.

Jared took my hand. I looked up. I couldn't believe the tension I felt, being with him was one of the best things. The way he looked at me made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world even though I knew I wasn't.

After a moment Jared said, "I think I said we'd talk after your shower."

"You did," I spoke softly.

"Why don't I explain the whole werewolf thing?"

I nodded.

He began talking. "Apparently my father was a decedent of one of the wolves the legends are about. Dr. Cullen's family are vampires. Since they're so close they triggered us. Sam, Paul and I are the only ones now but soon they'll probably be a lot more. At first you don't have control of the phasing, usually you phase when you're mad. You know Emily, Sam's girl? She was too close to Sam when he was just figuring out everything, that's how she got the scars.

"Then you can control it. I can control it. Sometimes you lose control but not too often. And you can control it long enough to run away. We're built to kill vampires, so we're strong and fast. When we transform into wolves we can hear each other's thoughts. For some reason we have fevers that should kill us but do nothing to us.

"Then there's imprinting, when a wolf finds his soul mate. It's hard to explain but once you look into her eyes your life changes. You'll do anything for her. Your life mission is to make her smile. You'll do whatever you can to put a smile on her face. She's more important to you than your family, best friends and self put together. You'd be whatever she wanted a protector, a brother, a best friend or a lover.

"Kim, I know this is soon but I need to tell you. I imprinted on you.


	8. Dying

Chapter Eight: Dying

"_You may trod me_

_In the very dirt_

_But still,_

_Like dust,_

_I'll rise."_

_-Maya Angelou_

I brushed my blonde hair behind my ear. What do you say to that? "Jared, it's really hard for me to trust someone. But I'm starting to trust you. I'm not ready for something too serious but please, know that I love you. It's hard for me to open up, but I want to tell you something. It's what been holding me back.

"When I was a freshman in high school I met this amazing guy, Cody. He was sweet and really nice, so when he asked me out I said yes. Soon after our friends started dating too, Zoey went out with David and Callie went out with Trevor. Soon we found out that all of our parents worked for the same company in mainly the same office. The company happened to be hosting a dance. So we all went.

"Cody got us drinks, and then asked me to dance. Cody kept dancing closer to the doors. Soon he pulled me out the doors. I thought we were just going to talk. Then he pushed me against the building's wall. He tried to kiss me. I realized what he was doing I kept saying 'Stop.' But he wouldn't. His hot breaths covered my face making me sweat. He urged me to 'help him out.' I saw a huge bulge.

"He forced me down onto my knees. I was screaming and thrashing but he was stronger than me. He took off his pants and boxers. He forced me onto him. Soon he had me up. He was unbuttoning his shirt. As soon as that was finished he took off my purple dress. He started fingering… me.

"His… started teasing me. I was hysterical. He kept saying things like 'You want it.' And 'Tell me you love me.'

"My friends came after three or four thrusts. Callie pulled him off of me, but I was never the same again." I was hysterical, wrapped in Jared's arms. He was sitting there listening to me blubber on.

"Thank you." I sniffle.

"Hey, no need to thank me."

I smile up at him. 'I can do this' I think. I open my eyes. Looking up, I see Jared staring down at me. Just a few inches, I lean up; catching him off guard I kiss him. It isn't something erotic, but simple and chaste. It's exactly what I needed.

When we break away he smiles at me, something tells him I just made him the happiest person in the world. He hugs me to him.

"So do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure."

Soon I had to go back home, to my dysfunctional house. I looked around, no one was home then again what did I expect? I could do something other than sit around. I could look for a job, look at colleges, do anything other than sit around.

Then again, dad could be faithful to his wife. Mom could divorce dad. My parents could remember they have a daughter. The police could actually work for justice.

I guess life is just a bunch of "could" and "should". No one ever does anything good for anyone else.

But Jared does.

I hate how my brain goes around in circles. My dad and I used to talk about things like that. He proved to me that by dividing by zero two plus two could actually equal five. He was my hero. I thought the world of him; he would teach me things no one else would because "I was too young."

He used to tell me no one was too young to learn. He let me drink alcohol whenever I wanted, under his supervision. He explained the string theory to me, problems he was trying to solve using basic algebra. Even a little while after the dance it was like that. Then when Cody's brother was the judge for our case he found him innocent even with undeniable proof that he was guilty. We had tried to get a different judge but the "over booked, under paid" courthouse said he was it.

Then my dad became a heavy drinker. He always woke up with a hangover. All he ever wanted was a happy family. When I fell into a depression he did too. He tried therapy but it became evident the best therapy for him was alcohol and girls. He somehow went to work each day, probably with strong coffee and a bottle of aspirin. My mom saw what was happening, she wasn't an idiot, but she never believed in divorce. Not far after she went to med school the world became her charity project. Why fix your family when you can save the world?

The more my dad wasn't there the more depressed I became, the more he wasn't there; the more the world required my mom more than I did. After a while we didn't know each other. We had separate ban accounts, ate dinner by ourselves, at a table made for twelve. The farther apart we grew.

Don't people pay for these ideas? Soap operas look for them all the time- a broken family, a girl who battled depression and eating disorders.

The eating disorder was because of dance and partially Cody. When you watch dancers that weigh eighty pounds you tend to feel self-conscience. On stage their so graceful and look beautiful, you figure someone like that must be perfect. You wish you were perfect too. Cody made my life a mess; he controlled everything except what I ate. That was what I could control. Soon I was down to 90 pounds. This went on while he and I were still together. I would catch him checking out skinnier girls, so I tried to be skinnier and skinnier. He also made comments like "Aw, your baby fat it so adorable," obviously not in the nice way. My dad saved me from that. He sat me down and told me that this wasn't me. It was bad and dangerous. Things I knew but hearing them from my hero made a difference.

That's the memory I was having when my mom came through the door with a dirty old woman. The woman was wearing dingy, ripped clothing and walking with a limp.

"This is my daughter…" My mom said drawing a blank at my name.

"Let me show you your room." She said changing the subject. The woman followed my mom up the stairs into my room.

I came in "Why isn't she staying in the guest room?"

"Because she's not a guest she'll live with us. You can stay there. Oh and what size are you. Miss Jane needs clothes and you two look around the same size." Now she began talking to Miss Jane "We can have the room decorated differently, she doesn't have any fashion sense. You even have your own restroom. If you want my daughter can sleep on the couch and the guest room can be your sitting room. Now she'll go start the bath get you a towel and clothes. Would you like a bubble bath?" My mom said grabbing my collection of de-stressing scents from China."

She looked at me, as though scolding me for just standing there while my mom ripped away all of my things. "Oh and there's a computer here." My mom said handing the woman my laptop.

"What are you doing?" I yelled.

"Don't make this woman feel like an intruder, Grace Lee!" She scolded "Grace Jane".

"MY NAME IS KIM ROWLEY!!!" I yelled, storming away.

"Ungrateful!" I heard my mom call after me.

Running away day after day wasn't acceptable, but I didn't want to bother Jared. It was raining again, but it was only 10:00. He had told me he stayed up late and that he was available whenever I wanted to talk to him. I decided to call him.

"Hey Kim, how are you?" He answered before the first ring finished.

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"No you're not what's wrong?" I smiled.

"Listen why don't I pick you up?"

"That sounds great." I told him.

When he picked me up he took me to the beach where I told him about Miss Jane and how my mom and I started fighting then how she called me Grace Lee. His arms were around me throughout the whole ordeal. I didn't cry though. I couldn't bring myself to cry for my mom when she didn't know my name.

Soon I fell asleep with Jared's warm body next to me.


	9. Love and Hate

Chapter Nine: Love and Hate

"_Being happy doesn't mean everything is imperfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." _

_~Unknown_

Jared kept me in his arms for the rest of the time I spent with him. He kept eating everything in sight. I told him about "Grace Lee", which was apparently my new name. I told him about everything. I couldn't stand it, but I promised myself I wouldn't shed another tear about parents that didn't even know my name.

After a while he drove me back home. I saw Miss Jane sitting on the couch. I walked in, not wanting to face anyone.

"Is that your room your mother was offering me?" Miss Jane asked me.

"Yes, it is." I said.

"Well, then it's yours, not mine. I'll take the other room. That old grouch just got 'er a pantie in a bunch and now her daughter's payin' for it with tears. 'S no' your fault that yo' ma' doesn't know you. Now do you know how ta' play bridge?" Miss Jane asked me.

"Well, no."

"Then your gunna' learn, Miss Kim Rowley."

After hours of bridge playing, Miss Jane had gained my trust more than my parents. She told me that she was one of the wealthiest families but once she refused to marry some guy who slapped her they disowned her. She tried to stay afloat but she couldn't. It was how she ended up on the streets. She said she'd rather be on the streets than married to that ass. I laughed at that.

I ended up telling her the short story of my own experience. I said that if I was in her spot I'd do the same thing. Who needs someone who wants a perfect house wife?

Afterwards she turned on a country music station. The beginning of "Toes" by Zac Brown Band came on.

"_I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand_

_Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand." _I sang along.

"Cum' on, get up." She said, pulling my hands as we began dancing. She was a great dancer as it turned out; she knew the words to all the songs. Soon it was around three in the morning, usually my father would be getting home, but then it was 3:30, and I began to get worried. A sharp knock on the door startled me. I reached for the knob and through the door I saw a uniformed man.

"Is this the Rowley's house?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Mr. Rowley has been in an accident. He's at the hospital. We aren't sure if he'll make it."

I stood there as Miss Jane went to wake my mom. I heard my mom's wails of desperation and sadness.

"We recommend you go there right away."

My mom appeared in plaid pants and a plain white tee shirt that swamped her body. She looked broken and devastated. She descended the stairs in a trance.

"Mom, this is a police officer. We're going to go to the hospital to see dad."

My mom simply nodded, we all went to the car where I drove to the only hospital near us. I wanted to call Jared but I didn't want to bother him again, it was around four in the morning. Soon we were in the hospital; I'd never seen my father so weak. He was hooked up to life support machines. I was never a fan of hospitals, or medicines. Sure, they were great but I just hated them. The smell and complicated names overwhelmed me. Zoey wanted to be a brain surgeon and was fascinated by hospitals but I'd rather just be well enough to not go to the hospital.

We all sat by the bedside, my mom had drifted off to sleep. Then a young women with blonde curly hair, a red top that dipped down too low to show off where breasts should have been, with a tight red skirt that was too short and red high heels. My mom woke up to her gasp.

"Who are you?"

"I'm his girl friend and secretary, Jewel." The blonde replied.

My mom's reacted as though she was clueless.

"I didn't know he slept with a girl more than once." I murmured.

"YOU KNEW?" My mom yelled.

"You did too." I said.

"I had no clue." My mom said defensively.

Jewel came over to wear my father was lying. She wept dramatically, loud gasps coming from her.

"He said he'd divorce you, that we would be married." She informed my mom.

"Get out of the room, whore!"

"You're the one who doesn't give him what he needs, old hag."

"What does he need?"

"Warmth and a loving family, he probably got into the accident so he wouldn't have to put up with you!"

The bickering continued. Soon I fell asleep to their loud voices, as did Miss Jane. I woke up in the chair I fell asleep in, I saw that Jewel was on the floor while my mom slept in the bed for the single person who was supposed to stay, and apparently Jewel went to bed before her, because I doubted that Jewel would have let her stay there.

Honestly I didn't feel bad for any of them because they were all in the wrong. My mom was well off financially, she could have gotten a divorce. Jewel knew my father was married. My father cheated on his wife. None of them were innocent.

I decided to simply get a bagel and coffee for breakfast from Einstein's Bagels. Then I went home to take a shower and prepare for the day. Miss Jane was still sleeping and I didn't want to wake her. After I was finished I went back to the hospital.

He was still my father. There was an emotional bond that was hard to break; I'd never forgive myself if I wasn't here.

It was nearing one when my phone rang. The caller ID was Jared. Had I put him in my phone?

"Hey." I said.

"Hey, Kim, did I do something wrong because I can't find you anywhere. I tried your home phone and went to the cliffs and by your house and if you're mad you can tell me…"

"Jared, stop… it's just, my dad was… can you come down to the hospital, room 231?"

"I'll be there in 15." He said.

After we hung up, Jewel and my mom woke up.

"Bitch." Jewel said.

"Whore." My mother spat back.

"I just give him what he wants, unlike the charity freak!"

"Oh, so you think our environment will save itself from our pollutants!"

"Well I think someone could pause for a second to give him a blow job!"

"Okay, as much fun as it is hearing about people giving my father blow jobs. Why don't we all decide to settle this in a peaceful manner? Like a truth circle. We'll get the chairs in a circle and figure this out. Now whoever has the pen," I say holding up a pen I dug into my purse for, "is the only one talking."

We assemble the chairs in a "circle", or a pentagon with an empty chair for Jared. The empty chair is to my right, then Jewel, my mother and finally Miss Jane. I take the pen first.

"Okay, Mom I think you irresponsible, annoying and turn a blind eye to the things you don't want to see. You're financially able to support yourself yet you won't divorce him even though it would be better for the family." Jewel smiled snobbishly, "Jewel, I think you're a slut. You knew my father had a family and you decided that it would be okay to sleep with him. You both could have done something." They both start talking. "Do either of you have the talking pen?" They quieted.

"Hey… what's going on?"

"Hey Jared we're having a truth circle. My dad got into a car accident. Jewel has been sleeping with my dad." I indicated pointing to her. "So we decided to have a truth circle, if you have the pen you're the only one talking."

"Okay." He said sitting down.

"Who wants to go?" I ask.

"I'll go." Miss Jane says.

"You know, Cecilia," My mother's name, "You remind me of my mother." My mother beams. "It's not a compliment. I hated that bitch but at least she knew my name. I think you're trying to spread yourself too thin and ignoring your family in the process. I think you're a slut Jewel."

"I guess I'll go." Jared said.

"Umm, I think that you need to be less involved in saving the environment and more about your family. Jewel I think you're a whore."

"I'll go." My mother sighs, "Well, just because everyone else doesn't care about the environment, doesn't mean I shouldn't. I care about future generations. I can't believe you, Kim, would be so selfish. Gosh, where did I go wrong? I feel so betrayed and hurt. I feel as though everyone's attacking me! And Jewel, you are a slut."

"Response," I say raising my hand.

"Mom, I don't mind the fact you love the environment, I think it's great. But, you need to stop coming home around midnight waiting for dad and crying by 12:30 because he isn't home, then when he stumbles in drunk at 3 in the morning with his clothes stained with lipstick and messed up pretending to be asleep." I tell her almost crying.

Jewel raised her hand. I handed her the pen. When she leaned forward one of her boobs practically fell out.

"Well I agree with everyone that you don't do anything right. You can't even give your husband what he wants. He never wanted that ugly thing over there," She said indicating me.

Jared stands up, as I put a hand on his arm to calm him.

"He wanted a son." Jewel continues, "Which I am giving him. I'm pregnant with his son."

**A/N: So a few things:**

**A. Should her dad die? I'm stuck because on one hand it might increase the story and I read "If you're being nice to the character, you're being mean to the story." On the other hand there would be a lot of things left unsaid. So leave me a review or PM telling me what you think and why you think it and I'll either go with the majority or the best reason. **

**B. What do you guys think of Jewel, and her pregnancy?**

**C. Yeah, I know everyone hates me and I'm a bitch for not updating. (Kind of true.) But there has been a lot going on and as you can most likely tell I'm in a depressed mood. I've been rewriting this chapter over and over trying to make it seem real. Also everyone on this sight has a life, so you need to understand my family means more to me than this story. I can't write 24/7 (much to my dismay), so real life will get in the way sometimes. Sorry.**


	10. Okay, Wait What?

Chapter Ten: Oh- Wait, What?

"_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,  
While loving someone deeply gives you courage."  
- Lao Tzu_

The room was completely silent for a few moments as we all took in what had been said. That was until the doctor came in. Automatically Jared tensed up.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen." He said extending his hand towards my mother, then to me, Miss Jane, finally to Jewel. Jared stood up putting himself between Dr. Cullen and me.

"I'm afraid he there is no definitive answer as to whether or not he'll make it. His chances would improve significantly if he would wake up. We're doing all we can."

Everyone in the room seemed as though they couldn't talk.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." I said standing up, while putting an arm on Jared's bicep to relax him. "We'll call you if anything changes."

"Thank you, Ms. Rowley." He smiled at me.

Everyone waited for Dr. Cullen to leave to continue whatever this would become.

"Kim, you's bein' here ain't gunna change nothin'. I'll keep control of these two; you and your beau go run along. Ans' don't yall's all worry 'bout nothin." Miss Jane whispered to Jared and me.

I smiled at her, silently thanking her, while grabbing Jared's hand and waving good bye to everyone. Only Miss Jane waved back. I glanced at the clock to find it was nearly four. I heard Jared's stomach growl as we walked out.

"Why don't we go to my house, I'll make us some sandwiches, then we can have a picnic at the cliffs."

"Sounds great," Jared said squeezing my hand while smiling down at me.

"What do you want to do about having two cars?" I asked him, leaning my head on his chest while walking down the white hallways.

"How about, I'll drive us to your house, and then later I'll run back here to get your car?" Jared suggested.

"Run?" I questioned him.

"Part of the wolf thing, remember?" He whispered.

"Oh, yeah, that. I'm a little tired." I told him.

"I know." He said.

As we reached his car he opened the door for me, helping me into his truck.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"No problem." He smiled at me.

His massive frame made the truck look small. As we got on the road he put his arm around my shoulders.

"You know we're going to have to talk about, well everything." He told me.

I sighed, "I know, and the sooner the better, I guess."

"Are you okay to talk about it right now?"

"I think I'd like all the crying to be done in one or two days instead of dragging it out."

"Okay, whatever you want." He said, "The easiest thing to talk about is the whole wolf thing."

I let out a short laugh at that. "What?" He asked.

"It's pathetic that's the easiest thing to talk about. My boyfriend morphs into a wolf, and that's the easiest thing for us to discuss."

"Yeah, that's a pity."

"Tell me more about imprinting. Like do you know why it happens?"

"We aren't sure why it happens. Sam, our alpha, thinks it's to create more wolves. Personally I think it's because we're closer to nature so we feel stronger towards our soul mates. It's an amazing feeling, practically impossible to describe. All you want to do is make her happy and protected. You feel completed just seeing her. You get high whenever she laughs. Her voice is the best music. And you know that all you need is her."

A smile forms on my lips. Hearing that gives me butterflies.

"That's really sweet." I tell him.

He smiles sweetly at me.

"Anything else," I ask him.

"When we're in wolf form we can hear each other's thoughts. We have to listen to Sam when he uses his Alpha voice. Sam imprinted on Emily, which is why Sam left Leah. Emily wasn't attacked by bears but Sam…he accidently phased too close to her. But I'd never do that to you." He rushed the last sentence.

Leah's story was a sad one. Her fiancé goes missing. When he comes back he's not the same. They tried to work it out but soon Emily Young, Leah's cousin is in town. Everything changes suddenly. No longer is Emily a third wheel while they're at the beach because it's simply Emily and Sam. Leah refuses to come outside. I used to think Sam and Emily were the scum of the earth but now I understand it. I'd hate to be Leah still but now I know neither Sam nor Emily could control what had happened.

We finally arrived at my house. I start making sandwiches as Jared packs drinks and snacks. I also see him slip in a box of tissues, which I know for a fact I'll need. Next on the agenda is my parents and Jewel not to mention my dad's bundle of joy. Jared also grabs a jacket and a few blankets loading them into his car. Soon we're in the car.

"So are we away from the whole werewolf thing?" Jared asked.

"Yeah, so the next topic would probably be my parents right?" I ask.

"Whatever you want," Jared says.

"Ever since that night my family basically fell apart. We used to be the all American family. You know apple pies, family nights, board games and everything else. Then well…" I let my voice trail off. "After that I started to withdraw, from everyone. Then my dad felt useless so he started sleeping with any woman he could get, I guess it made him feel like he was giving someone joy. I'm sure there's some type of disorder there. Then my mom tried to forget everything by throwing herself into any cause, leaving me more alone so I withdrew even more. The cycle continued till it got so out of hand that there's no end in sight. We aren't a family just three people under one roof."

The last sentence is when tears started forming, but I wouldn't allow them to spill over. It made everything harder to deal with. "The rape wasn't as bad as what the rape did, what I allowed it to do. Did you know rape is about control? Well, he still has control over my family and I, almost three years later! He's still there! I can't get rid of him because of everything he did! God he changed every little thing about me and my family!" I say allowing tears to spill over.

I heave a sigh of relief. I never realized that before, or maybe I'd never admitted that before would be a better description. I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. Jared simply sits in his car though we've gotten to the beach. One of his arms is around me, comforting me.

I breathe calming myself, knowing the worst is yet to come. I'm trembling almost painfully so.

"Kim, why don't we set up the picnic?" He says.

"Sure." I say, I reach for my door but Jared had already opened it. In addition to that he insisted on carrying everything to the cliffs.

Soon he had laid out a blanket, with the sandwiches, snacks and drinks I had packed. The tissues were also out because he knew I'd need them. I'd already put the oversized jacket on. It was my favorite jacket because it was warm and comfortable. Jared slung one arm around me.

As we began eating I took a big breath. Better to do it now and get it over with. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked I didn't have to specify what I meant.

"How did you deal with it afterwards?" Jared asked me.

"I didn't. I thought that if I didn't think about it, I wouldn't remember it. I got terrible flashbacks. I could barely close my eyes. I developed insomnia. It got out of control. I made myself physically sick. It was a really bad time for me. When my dad moved I think my mom wanted everything to go back to normal, and she thought it would. Then when I found out Cody had moved up here too, I freaked out." I told him.

"Cody… as in Cody Welle?" Jared asked, shaking so much I could barely see him.

"Jared, what's going on?" I asked, trying to calm him down, he started to shake less and less till he was barely shaking at all.

"Is it Cody Welle?" He asked once again.

"Yes." I responded.

"That… I'm… I…" Jared stuttered at a loss for words.

"Jared, I know you two are friends, I don't expect…" I start to say.

"No we're not. Not any more we aren't and you should expect it! Kim, you mean more to me than that filthy whore, he's not worth anything. What he did to you… he should be in jail! I can't believe that anyone would ever think that he shouldn't! I mean…"

"Jared, you can't do anything about what he did." I told him.

It was true. I didn't expect him to drop his entire life for me. I wasn't sure how long he and Cody had been friends and I wasn't sure how close their bond was. I knew he had imprinted on me but it wasn't fair to ask for him to sacrifice his entire life.

"I may not be able to do anything but I sure as hell don't have to be friends with him!"

"Jared do whatever you want, I just don't want to see him again." I told him.

"Kim, if I found out that anybody had done that to another person I would hate them for it. That's one of the lowest things a person can do. I would hate him for it if he was some person off the street that did it I would hate him. He did this to my imprint; I know I can't kill him, but that's what I want to do." He said pulling me into a hug. The emotion in his voice was undeniable.

We stayed there for a while, taking comfort in each other's embrace. I felt drained. I hadn't gotten a great night's sleep per say. The conversation, though I was grateful to get it off my chest, was strenuous. Suddenly my phone began vibrating, I wouldn't have normally answered it but my father was in the hospital so I flipped it open.

"Hey," I said into the phone, sending an apologizing glance to Jared.

"Kim, get to the hospital right now." My mother's voice rang through my ears.


	11. Epilogue

A/N: I fail, it's extremely short and this is the end. I've lost interest. So if anyone wants to flesh it out, feel free to. I may come back to it someday.

Epilogue:

He had woken up. I couldn't believe 2 weeks had passed. He had gotten out of the hospital a week ago. My parents had decided to get divorced. We were going to family therapy. Also after Jared and I had looked into it, the case against Cody had been an assault case. We were talking to a lawyer about charging him with rape. Although Jewel and my mom would never be on good terms they were on better.

We had a small party at the beach to celebrate. Mom had invited a "friend" from a charity, and was flirting away with him. My dad and Jewel were snuggled up. On the beach a cutie (for his age) had asked Miss Jane to take a stroll. I leaned against Jared. As I looked out to the ocean, I knew I may not be okay right now but I'd be okay soon.


End file.
